:: may :: lyrics and journal excerpts
The more I fight, the more I work
The more I dig into the dirt
To be fed up, to be let down
:: dark on me :: starset
You're the cause, the antidote
The sinking ship that I could not let go
Who led my way and disappeared
How could you just walk away and leave me here?
:: point of no return:: starset
There's a memory of how we used to be
That I can see through the flames
I am hypnotized as I fantasize
Forgetting lies and pain
But I can't go back
:: made it this far :: katelyn tarver
The more I get to know myself
The less I understand myself
I don't know how to let go
Of all this weight I put on me
Of who I am or where I'll be
Once I learn to let go
:: better together :: unsecret ft. sam tinnesz
I feel it mourning in the dead of night
When the moon hangs in an empty sky
I try to sleep, but my mind is racing
You're the only dream I'm chasing
When the moon hangs in an empty sky
I try to sleep, but my mind is racing
You're the only dream I'm chasing
:: miss me more :: keslea ballerini
But I miss me more
I miss my own beat, to my own snare drum
I miss me more
Miss my own sheets in the bed I made up
I forgot I had dreams, I forgot I had wings
Forgot who I was before I ever kissed you
Yeah, I thought I'd miss you
But I miss me more (I miss me more)
I miss my own beat, to my own snare drum
I miss me more
Miss my own sheets in the bed I made up
I forgot I had dreams, I forgot I had wings
Forgot who I was before I ever kissed you
Yeah, I thought I'd miss you
But I miss me more (I miss me more)
:: you broke me first :: tate mcrae
Now suddenly you're asking for it back
Could you tell me, where'd you get the nerve?
Yeah, you could say you miss all that we had
But I don't really care how bad it hurts
When you broke me first
:: hang on :: needtobreathe
So hang on to the light in your eyes and the feeling
Hang on to your love drunk original reason
Hang on to the small town you love but you're leaving
Oh, you won't be a fool for so long
So hang on
:: dear God :: hunter hayes
You made a man this fragile
You made a heart that can break
You show me the road less traveled
Knowin' I'm gonna run away
You make me love so hard
When everything I love just leaves
Are you sure there's nothing wrong with me?
5/4/2020
I'm supposed to list something great
about today. I listened to the whole
Walking on Cars Colours album this
morning. That was pretty great
5/11/2020
I guess the good things of today were
the moments I spent reading while sitting
in the back of my truck...
5/14/2020
My soul wants peace.
5/18/2020
Today I start a new job. And tomorrow I turn
twenty-one. And my book comes out!
5/22/2020
I want to get better. I want more.
Yet... I'm scared
5/22/2020
I want to get better. I want more.
Yet... I'm scared
10 comments
brooke, i honestly don't know where to start. but maybe i should start by introducing myself.
ReplyDeletei used to blog over at lilycatscountrygirlconfessions.blogspot.com, but dropped that profession when life decided to attack. i'm considering beginning a new blog, but i'm not sure if i'm up for that at the moment.
regardless of all these specifics that you probably don't want to hear about, i just wanted to let you know how deeply i appreciate your vulnerability. the way you write touches my soul in a very beautiful way and helps me see there are others struggling through life in much the same why i am - possibly feeling way too much in the process.
i can honestly relate to what i've seen of your writings and say i feel in a very expressive way, and it breaks me often, but i'm not sure i would want it any other way. it helps me connect to people and places in huge ways.
i only pray i can channel these feelings into God and let Him pour them into the correct creeks.
(my apologies for no caps. i find typing this way evokes the emotions in my head best)
thank you for your time and consideration.
all His blessings to you, beautiful soul
~ Lily
I am left so speechless by this comment, but I will try to get the words together that even begin to match the beauty of this comment.
DeleteFirst off, let me say that this comment has brought a big light to my day (and my day has only just begun!)
First, I am always willing and open to hear about blogging struggles and woes and I would be happy to listen. If you'd like to email me, need advice about blogging, or just want to talk about your experience with it, you can email me using the contact form on my blog. <3
Second, I would totally follow you blog if you start a new one, so please keep me posted on that. No pressure to start one, but I can already tell how amazing it would be!
To see someone appreciate my vulnerability soothes my heart. These posts are harder for me for many different reasons. Opening up has been harder lately, and it used to not be as hard. But life happens and things happen that make you change things about yourself that maybe you don't want to change.
But all of that aside, this comment has made my dad! seriously, thank you.
and I much prefer to type without caps, if I'm honest xD so no problem there.
Thank you, again, for this beautiful comment.
God bless you. <3
oh man, brooke...i'm so honored to hear my comment could do such a thing for you. it brings such joy to me to know i can even just graze someone else's life.
Deleteeee, thank you muchly!! ^ ^ i will keep that in mind, though i am currently unable to commit to emailing more people on top of the emails i'm already sending because of my upcoming graduation. it will probably be sometime within the next month, though. :)
oh my gosh. your words...THANK you!!! i honestly feel like my first blog was a bit of a failure because i hadn't found my head voice yet - but now that i have (and because of one other reason) i feel like i could come back to blogging at some point.
oh girl, i'm glad it soothes you. just know that even if someone DOES mind your being vulnerable, God doesn't. and i don't either, for that matter. i think everyone is entitled to opinions and thoughts. it's what helps us grow and learn more about each other. i agree a lot with the last sentence in that paragraph. life can change so much about you. it can be painful, and you can cry a lot for what you've lost, but i honestly think it's for the best sometimes. it might not always feel like that of course. i know it's been a rough journey for me with my health these last two years, but i feel like i am beginning to learn.
hearing you say that makes MY day. ^ ^ but you're welcome. i'm glad i touched you.
eeeep, someone else who thinks no caps is aesthetic!! xDDD i can die happy now. ;P
you're very welcome; and i thank you for your beautiful answer.
all His blessings to you, beautiful soul
~ Lily
You certainly did. Lately my posts have not been as popular (not that I so much care about popularity, if I'm honest) but I still write them not to be the professional author most people expect, but to be me. Who I am.
DeleteCONGRATS ON GRADUATING!! I know it's really different this year, so I hope your day is still special! and no pressure, my inbox is always open <3
I totally get that. When I had a different blog under a different name, it was actually a bit more successful, I think, than this one is, but I'm not big on how many numbers. I just like to see if I'm reaching people. Finding one's voice is hard. I find that I'm still getting the hang of that, but I know my biggest thing is dark topics and pointing to light.
Yes. Absoultely right. I agree with all of this!!
You'll find I post a lot in small caps lately xD
<3 <3 <3
God bless and congrats again! <3
oh man, i love your mentality! ^ ^ so many people can be so fake and UNtrue to themselves. i'm just very thankful you have the bravery to stand up for and voice what you believe in. x
DeleteTHANK YOU MUCHLY!!!! xx my day WAS special!! ^ ^ we really had a blast. goodie!! ^ ^ i'll be sure to message you at some point this month or next.
oh my goodness, i love how you've gone through a similar experience!!! and YES, views aren't what i'm looking for - i'm looking for people who are able to relate and possibly find meaning through my posts. eeek, i love that you write about the dark x light relationship. i feel like people really need to hear those messages. life isn't all fluff and aesthetic pleasures and happiness, and we all really need to learn to realize this; that life brings sadness and undesirable feelings just like it does the others. :)
by the way! i finally cracked and decided to start another blog. it's called raw-unedited.blogspot.com . it's basically like a journal of all my raw words. i'll probably not be a crazy poster, but i'd rather be inconsistent with quality than consistent with quantity. xD
:)
ohhh, i bet THAT is aesthetic, too!! ^ ^ anything to break the norm!! :D
xxx
all His blessings to you, beautiful soul; thank you again! x
Beautiful post! Starting a new job, turning 21 and releasing a book! All such huge things, Congrats!
ReplyDeleteThank you. Yes, a lot of life changes all at once. <3 <3 <3
DeleteI want peace. I can relate to those words alone. I think that reading lyrics to a song and listening to them come off very differently. A lot of the songs you have mentioned I don't think I've heard but I liked simply reading the words of the song.
ReplyDelete<3 <3 <3
DeleteMusic is like another language to me. It can be so soothing to the soul. I definitely recommend these songs. <3
Peace can be hard to find. Especially in chaos. But we will get there and it will be well worth the wait. <3
<3<3<3
ReplyDelete