and in the end

I'd do it all again

~ fob

this blog and blogs I've run before have given me some of the best and worst experiences. and to let go doesn't feel entirely right.

and we've done this before. I let go, then I come back full swing...

and so I won't say this the true ending. 

but I will say... this is the end of... something. 

I've found that blogger has not been a safe space for me anymore. and a lot of that has contributed to the fact that in my time here, I've made some friends, but I've lost some too. 

and that's truly just life. 

gain and loss. 

but this space has been hard to write in for a long time. especially since becoming in author. 

everything is chaos. 

I can't say THIS IS IT, I'M DONE, GOODBYE FOREVER...

because I don't think I'm truly done. I think right now, my mental health is demanding I step away from a lot of things. 

one thing I've stepped away from is social media. so if you're looking for me there, tagging me in things, messaging me, I'm sorry if I've kept you waiting. but I just haven't really had the urge to look back. usually I'm addicted to it. 

but lately there has been a LOT of stuff going on in my life, plus we have a whole freaking world out of balance and so many sides yelling opinions and ideas and just...

everything is so loud. 

"wear a mask"

"don't wear a mask"

"vaccines are good"

"vaccines are bad"

I'm not here to state my opinions on things or begin arguments.

I can only say that some things have been damaging to my mental health and that me wearing a mask any longer than 30 minutes has done some damaging things for my anxiety and depression. 

I can say that, but a lot of people won't HEAR me. I think you guys will. I think you understand. I respect everyone who wants to wear one, too. I just struggle. And no one wants to hear that these days. 

anyway... that being said

this is merely a goodbye for now sort of thing. 

I need to recharge. I'm sure I'll pop back in somewhere. 

and if you want to reach out, my email is ALWAYS open and I'm on it pretty often these days. (replying, however, I'm usually not great at but hey I can try to do better xD )

anyway... yeah.

I'm not looking for attention about what's going on. I just wanted to share that if I'm gone for a while, that's why. Even logging into blogger is a struggle sometimes. So I can't completely guarantee I'll keep up with every post, but I'll try to read some. 

Long winded story aside (goodness Brooke, they didn't ask for your life story)

I hope y'all have a wonderful new year. I hope you reach your goals. I hope you hold onto hope because that is all we have now. stay strong. you're all amazing. 

this isn't goodbye.

this is see you later. <3