Every part of me just wants to run
But I can't, you know

So I'll stay right here

Just for one more night

I tell myself I'm fine here with you

Just for one more night

You make it hard to say goodbye

~bloodshot, sam tinnesz~

~coldest water, walking on cars~

But I survived, yeah I survived

Oh you came across the sea

Swam the ocean just for me

Now I'm alive, yeah I'm alive

Can I trust myself?
Everything I thought I knew is somewhere else
I'm scared that if I say things
I won't have the same things anymore
I don't feel like I'm home
Never thought I'd be someone that I'd outgrow

~somebody else, katelyn tarver~

I get mad at almost everything

No, I'm not the way I used to be

I just want somebody to tell me that I'm okay

Yeah, I want someone to tell me that I'm okay

~i miss you, i'm sorry, gracie abrams~

I don't wanna go, we've been here before

Everywhere I go leads me back to you

This is the safest way to go nobody gets hurt
We're singing
Heya heya heya heya
Heya, heya heya
You go back to him and then I'll go back to her

So... I feel like I need to put a bit of a disclaimer here. Some of the lyrics and some of the journal entries are sad. 

It's okay to acknowledge the sadness.

It's okay to be sad. 

There is a lot going on in our world right now but beyond that... we have our own problems. We shouldn't try to minimize our own struggles for the rest of the world's problems. Yes, there is a problem, but by trying to act like our issues are nothing, we do more harm than good to our mental health.

Mental health rant aside, I've had a lot going on this month. And a lot has been heavy. Crumbling friendships, painful circumstances, and sad lyrics are what have made up this month. 

And it's okay. 

I've been in darker places, honestly. I have hope. So much hope actually. 

I have a book coming out in July, don't know if you've heard about it. I'll leave a link here for the ebook preorder if you're interested. It would mean the world to me if you'd check it out.

Even though my debut trilogy (yes, two more books are coming with this one) is dystopian, I'd love to write more contemporary novels and maybe a poetry/short prose book too. I have so many ideas and so much hope for that.

So yes, just know I am okay. And sometimes it's okay to not be okay. Just remember to find hope in something. 

That is my challenge for May. To write more journal entries, to spill my feelings out on pages, but to also find one thing to be happy for in each day, a unique thing to every day. Grateful hearts win out every time. 

That's all for now, beautiful souls.