:: 2020 ::
2020 has been a year of challenge. A year of crumbling apart, rebuilding, and breaking again. It has not been an easy year. Looking through my entire life, looking back on some pretty dark periods, I would say this year might have been the worst year I have ever experienced.
Not only is there forced isolation and masks, there's been a lot of mental struggle to 2020. I know I'm not alone in that.
But when you're forced to isolate from everyone...
then again, it's not like I really KNOW anyone in person besides my family, of course.
This year has proven to be one a challenging one. And I thought about just focusing on the highlights. I wrote a whole post just focusing on the highlights. But it wasn't genuine or real. Because this year has not just been highlights. There's been a lot of negative, too.
And as we get closer to the end of the year, I figured I'd list all the highs and lows of 2020.
in no particular order...
- I learned the truth about a few people this year, learned who I should give my time to.
- in that same sense, I lost some people this year. Probably for the best.
- I discovered The Raven Boys (arguably one of the best things of 2020??)
- I sold my truck, and to this very day still regret it. (to the girl who bought my truck, you'll never see this. I hope you're taking care of her and love her.)
- all the time I got to spend with my best friend, my boo, Faith, while she was in college. The way our friendship has really grown this year.
- my faith in God has become shaken, and I'm still working on rebuilding that.
- I became a debut author this year, as of May 19th. You can buy a copy here, if ya want. >:)
- I'm in the .5% of starset listeners and I think that honestly made my year.
- I wrote a secret project that actually is my favorite book and I can't wait to share more with y'all soon.
- I wrote some books I wasn't mentally ready for, and had to stop writing.
- I discovered washi tape and journaling
- I read some books that triggered me slightly. (please authors, put trigger warnings)
- I found my true writing process
- I got away from my very toxic job
- I started journaling more
- I got fairy lights in my room ✨✨
- I started coming into who I am as an author and writer
- I finished writing book three of the trilogy, thus completing the hardest part
- somehow kept blogging, even though I often wonder how long I will keep blogging.
I listened to a lot of good music. but here are the biggest highlights:
- listening to Diving Bell by starset 141 times this year.
- starset as a whole
- was in the .5% of starset listeners this year, aiming for the .1% next year
- discovering bolshiee and her music being stunning
- chasing cars by snow patrol
let's waste time
chasing cars
around our heads
- last to fall by starset
and the world is cold
but its beautiful
I wish you were here now
I miss your soul
- the pines by roses and revolution
when you've gone and lost your way
meet me in the pines
when there's nothing left to say
meet me in the pines
- diving bell if that wasn't obvious
in my mind
endless sea
calling from the bottom
but you don't hear me
- broken by au/ra
wanna be all in
but I'm bad with emotion
maybe cuz my heart
was made to be broken
- who am I by needtobreathe
I push you away
still you won't let go
you grow your roses
on my barren soul
- dance in the rain by bolshiee
I'm not mad I'm just sorry
I couldn't make you feel safe
I will give you strength don't you worry
I will learn how to dance in the rain
- the raven cycle
- just Gansey and Ronan and Blue and Adam and Noah and ACCCKKK
- shadow and bone, siege and storm, ruin and rising, buddy read with Faith. so many inside jokes. she married Nikolai. twas beautiful
- discovered some of my old favorites aren't as good as I remember and actually annoy me
- okay but the raven king has issues yet I loved it??
- goodreads says the least popular book I read this year is, in fact, my own book -_-
- blue lily, lily blue was probably my favorite book of the year
- wrote a novella for myself and its my favorite book I've ever written
- finished the first draft of On We Ascend
- decided near the end of this year that a break is what I need because writing isn't coming easy and that's okay
- came up with a lot of new wip ideas, wrote them down in a notebook to keep track.
This year has been a hard one. and I'm hoping so desperately that 2021 is better, that things get better. Because this cannot keep going on.
but... we are strong. we will make it through.
I'll see you in 2021
<3
6 comments
*coughs* she did marry Nikolai and don't you forget it
ReplyDeleteTHIS YEAR BOOOOO *sobs* so many ups and downs, challenges and struggles, but we've almost made it to the end. Just keep fighting. We can do this. I'm so grateful for all the time I've gotten to spend with you this year <3 <3
xD <3
DeleteI love you boo <3
<3<3<3
ReplyDeleteI loved your honesty in this post. It was so refreshing to read. Honesty is the best to be honest.
ReplyDeleteWow, Goodreads is rude.
Congrats on your friend's marriage! XD
All those points in writing are great achievements! I mean a break won't seem like an achievement, but it is important for writing growth so it is kinda of an achievement in knowing when a break is needed and seeing it okay. <3 (Sorry if this makes no sense)
Who can even describe the year of 2020? It was an ordeal. Congrats again and again for publishing!!! I can't wait to read more and more of your books!
ReplyDeleteI hope 2021 is a way better year for you. Raven Boys was a perfect thing to find, I try to read it every year. Makes me happy.
ReplyDeleteCongrats on becoming an author!