I wasn't sure if I would write this post.

coming back here feels... strange. 

I created a WordPress blog because that's professional and that's how authors work. 

Professional. 

But the user-friendliness of blogger is something I miss. Despite many claims that WordPress is easy and better, I still have my reservations on that. Quite honestly, I've struggled a lot to find a place to blog where I feel like I'm excited to blog. And maybe the spark has gone out. 

I've said this so many times and I know I sound like a broken record. 

I guess I don't want to give up on blogging entirely, but I have yet to feel like I have a space that's my own place to grow and just exist. this blog was me, but a different me from a couple years ago. a me that's no longer who I am. 

that girl had dreams and stardust and a strong support group. 

not that I've necessarily lost a support group, but some people moved on. some people grew and drifted. some people showed who they really were, proving I didn't know them much at all. 

I'm being vague for a reason, though, because each person contributed to who I am now. each person showed me something of the world I needed to know, good... and toxic. 

So this post is me saying that you probably won't see much from me here, and if you want, you can go to my WordPress blog. I've posted a few things there over the past couple of months. 

But I don't know if I'll stay there, either. 

I want to create a space on the internet that is my home, where I can just write what I want. Being an author can make you feel like you have to be professional and calculated 24/7. And that's just not who I am. I mean... I am professional and I can be calculated in what I do or say. But I'm also a human who just desires a small corner of the internet to call home and something that feels like it belongs to her. 

because if I'm honest, this blog was me writing for something or someone else for a long time. And I'm realizing I need something that is mine. Something that belongs to me. something that can feel like home no matter what changes in my life.

a safe place to be me. 

I'm not the girl who started this blog. I'm not the girl who started blogging a long time ago, either. I'm someone I'm not quite sure I've figured out yet. and I think there's a beauty in that. 

I guess all that to say... I'm not done, but I'm working on figuring it out. 

until then, here is the link to my WordPress blog, Into the Deep. 

I do love it, but it's not home, either. Maybe it will become home. Or maybe something else will. I'm still figuring it out. 

And I just want to say that it's okay to still be figuring out. 

keep on rising, friends. 🖤